Dear Abby

A letter to the editor from my good friend Gerry Losey in Tallahassee:

I am a proud American. I get cold chills when I hear the National Anthem being played. I love to lead in the recitation of the Pledge of Allegiance. I love Joe the Plumber. I wear an American Flag pin in my lapel. I buy shoes made in Italy and, socks made in Belarus, tires made in France, and gas from Venezuela. My last suit from JC Penney was made in Vietnam. I love my Mecerdes-Benz SUV, and Honda outboard motor. I continue to buy in order to help stabilize America’s economic condition. I just bought a 42-inch television set made in China. I shop at Wal-Mart, Kmart, Sears, and Target.

Abby, what has happened to the America I used to know? I am 77 years of age and lived through many recessions and now two major depressions. How did we get here? I thought that tax cuts for the wealthy increased revenue and therefore should have raised everyone’s boat equally and cured all our financial ills. Did it? I don’t think so!

Abby what more can I do? I listen to Rush Limpaw, Glenn “The Puke” Beck, and Sean Insanity. How can I get all the Un-American rascals out there to support our nation and stop those darn Pinko Commie fagots from criticizing the USA and our George W. Bush? I’m not going to take it anymore. We need to nuke-em. Lets be more proud of America. Okay? Cheeze - where is their pride?

PS: This is tongue in cheek except for the first three sentences.

Respectively yours,
Gerry Losey
The anti-snake oil salesman